Quick Comments

i just wish i was beautiful
i wish i didn't feel so ugly and disgusting as i feel right now
i feel like getting myself cut with a sharpened knife and remove all my fat

lost and messed up

all i can write right now is about my sadness, which is locked inside my chest and won't come out
all i can think about right now is his face and his smile, and my stupidity for thinking about him this way.
it hurts my heart that he has someone else, and it hurts me so deep that he doesn't spend time thinking of me
and I finally had the guts to hear the words to lose hope, and there's no hope now, my the desire is still there, which really sucks, and now i imagine an impossible miracle, while i have no strength put this feeling away.
my heart is really broken right now, but i'm in peace.
i hate being the aways-sad one, but i really wish things could work out well... i was so fine and used to being cold. then i met him and he had my heart without asking or knowing. and these things make me wonder what is wrong with me... and  I am a super mess right now, because i can't understand my feelings, and it unchained something kinda big because, i can't understand my feelings at all, not only the ones about him... i feel lost, and messed up, suddenly i'm just holding what is already on, because i need it, outside i'm ok but in fact, i'm totally unstable, uncapable of taking decisions and i have no fucking idea of what to do.
many issues come to my mind, my things i need to solve, and a huge need of change that is driving me crazy among all these feelings
i don't even know what to say, i don't even know what exactly i'm feeling, i'm afraid of doing something stupid, as i already have.
although i'm proud of myself, i'm sad, although i'm happy [and i am really happy] i'm sad.
i wanna keep writing and writing but i'm pretty sure no one is gonna read it, and i don't know what else to say, only that i really feel like a mess, a big mess
i wanna run, run, run....
and yes,

I WANNA SHOUT.

o dia em que eu me declarei

bom gente, eu achei que eu nunca seria capaz, que eu nunca conseguiria, mas eu disse a alguém que me apaixonei =/ e foi engraçadíssimo, embora não tenha sido reciproco.
é chato quando a gente desenvolve esse tipo de sentimento por alguém que, alem de tudo a gente gosta como amigo, ainda mais quando é um bom amigo, mas enfim, eu sou uma Drama Queen de natureza neh...
foram alguns meses remoendo e indo contra até q eu cheguei a constatação de que eu precisava por isso pra fora, precisava dizer a ele.
e eu disse, e não morri [ooooohh]
claro que nao foi simples assim, eu pensei no que dizer, quando dizer, até escrevi, reescrevi, pensei em todos os topicos, em como começar, no que dizer... e no fim...
mandei um sms huhasuahsuahsuhsusausa

ai como eu sou ridícula... hauhsuaha
mas dai ele veio conversar, e a gente conversou e foi muito engraçado, e ele é um fofo, só que não era pra ser... enfim

pensa num ser humano que evoluiu...
to que não cabe mais orgulho...

e o fato é que, eu sou foda, não há nada que possa contestar isso, como eu sou demais... ai ai

beijos pessoas do universo.

how I feel...

I wish I could split you in two

One for me to love, one to be my good friend.

Cause right now I am split

There’s a part of me who,

Never wants to stop being your friend

But there’s this silly part, who wanted more…

You know how to get my full attention

And it kills me that I’ll never be

The kind of girl you like

And it hurts me in silence to know

That you’ll never look at me

as someone you would be with

It’s getting impossible to like you as a friend now

So I should stay away, but every time I see you coming

I can’t help being around you

And everything is so rotten In me,

That that everything goes rotten out of me…

quick comments

something is seriously wrong with me, i guess

you are all I want

é o tipo de coisa que não se diz sem que se tenha alguma intenção, ainda mais com um coração desenhado ao lado.
NÃO SE DIZ
ok? combinado?

desabafei.

=/

e eu estou de coração partido agora

não sei se vou conseguir me recuperar esse mês

ou se vai durar até a próxima vez

que eu te encontrar sem poder te abraçar

e meu coração dói agora

diante da incerteza e da falta de esperança

da vontade de te ver que não passa

culpa da minha interminável insegurança

to be continued...

triste...

aquele momento que vc tá tao triste mas tão triste quevc fica com odio, e vc acha a força!

Feliiiiz

FELIZ!

pelo menos por hoje! Feliz.

Trecho de Musica do dia

"Listening for voices but it's the choices that make us who we are
Go your own way, even seasons have changed
Just burn those new leaves over"


"The unwinding cable car", Anberlin